No crip left behind?

I feel out-of-date - literally.
It is bad enough that I’m stuck here, wondering how I will get the converter box hooked up to my T.V in time for the impending switch, now scheduled for June, to digital signals. I got the coupon and bought the converter box; that was easy. I need someone to hook it up for me, and even my more technically savvy attendants are having difficulty doing so, at least so that I can also use my V.C.R (yes, I don’t have cable or satellite, but I do have a V.C.R and know how to program it and can do it myself, thank you! And it looks like I may well be no longer able to tape a program while I watch another once the converter box is hooked up.). They - whoever "they" are - say it’s easy, but that’s a lie, and the make-life-harder Republicans did their damnedest to block a delay of the switch from earlier this month. What am I to do? I am on a fixed income and don’t want to have to pay buku bucks for a handyman to come assist me. Do I call my social worker? Where are the army of helpers going door to door that I’ve read about? Not in my neighborhood. I wonder how many other folks like me - and seniors and others with low incomes - are looking at the prospect of a blank television screen come June.
But, then, there are C.D’s and D.V.D’s. Sure, they may sound and look way better, but they, unlike with supposedly any child these days, leave me behind. D.V.D’s and C.D’s are all but impossible for me to use, especially without scratching them. I can use audio and video cassettes all on my own, but they are getting as hard to find as dodo birds. This means I need an attendant to assist me when I want to listen or watch something. Not only does this entail more planning and all that, it’s not so cool when I want to sleaze out and watch Jackass 2 or some porn, not to mention gay porn. No doubt there’s some snazzy device that enables me to use C.D’s and D.V.D’s, but there’s also no doubt that it costs plenty, and I don’t have the big bucks - wanna bet that Medi-Cal will pay for it? - or strong desire to make someone richer off my disability.
And don’t get me started on those tiny iPods and iPhones! I thought technology was supposed to make me less disabled, not more.