A pain in the ass

    Lately, I’ve been wondering if I should change the name of this blog, perhaps to something like The Aging Queer.  Or even Queer Interrupted.
   Many of my recent posts, in the last year or so, have been about increasing limitations, like not being able to travel as much, and dealing with and finding ways to compensate for them (or not). It seems that this has been the running theme, that this is now what this blog is all about.  
   I have developed, yes, a new limitation.  This one is painful, sometimes quite painful, literally and otherwise.  I now have a pressure sore on my butt, in the same place as the one I had after my surgery but nowhere near as horrendous as that one. Nevertheless, it has gotten to be quite significant, and, strangely enough, I feel this one.  (I guess the nerves back there have come back, which I guess is a good thing?) It is like sitting on a walnut.  Yes – ouch!  
   (One of my attendants and I have figured out that I must have gotten it while I was in the hospital for four days in July – like how I got the first one.  Unfortunately, I was not aware of it and went on with life as usual – and not so usual, going on a four-day trip to the Central Coast – and it was some time before I could get an appointment with the wound specialist.  There was some talk that my Roho cushion was the culprit, but one test disproved that, and, besides, I just learned that, insanely, I’m not eligible to get a new one for another two years!)
   The wound is being treated, with medicated dressings being stuffed into the wound every night.  Okay.  But I’m also lying down for about an hour and an half during the day, and I lie down after dinner or after I get home if I go out in the evening. I really hate having to lie down like this.  I resent this.  It really cramps my style, as they say.  It gets in the way of things I want to do (including maybe going out for the day). It funny that two or three years ago, I liked lying down like this, but not anymore, now that I’m doing more things!  Also, it impacts me in other ways.  Like, yes, I can still go out on my strolls, which I especially enjoy now in the Fall, but going over all the bumps in the road and on the sidewalk does hurt my butt all the more. I’m also checking out different pain relievers – Alleve, Extra-Strength Tylenol, Motrin. The doctor won’t prescribe any, and I want to stay away from opioids.   
   What I really don’t like, what I really worry about, is that the nurses at the wound specialist keep saying that I need to lie down more.  I fear that I won’t really heal, that the pain won’t go away, unless I lie down much more if not all the time.  I don’t know if I could handle this.
   The other night, my attendant said the wound is looking a bit better.  Hopefully, the doctor will also say this when I go back on Monday.
   Don’t worry.  I’m not changing the name of this blog.  I’m not ready to.  As the name of my favorite disability rights group says, I’m not dead yet!