The Great Comeuppance

   It’s hard when someone says, “I told you so.” I know.  I’ve been feeling like someone has been saying, “I told you so.” Big time.       

   It’s even harder to get my head around the fact that, in just over two months, Donald Trump will be our president.  It is hard to believe that “the Donald,” a television celebrity who has never held any office and appears to know very little about what doing so involves and who has said horrible things about women and minorities, mocked the disabled, encouraged violence, bragged about groping women and lied about President Obama not being born in the U.S, among other things, was elected to be president, the “leader of the free world.” But Trump was elected, squarely if not fairly, winning the electoral college but not the popular vote, and he will be our next president come January 20.

   I thought it was bad when Reagan was elected president.  That was a Sunday in the park compared to this.  All the more so when we see the people, like alt-right promoter Stephen Bannen, who Trump is relying on for the help and advice he so desperately needs in his new position. 

   What is easy is to say that nobody saw this coming.  That is what everyone has been saying, starting with all the newscasters and commentators on Election Night.  There has been many articles and much chatting about how most people thought Hilary Clinton would win and how they all got it so terribly wrong.  Even Trump’s supporters and backers and even Trump, a bit like a deer in the headlights, are surprised. 

   Too easy, in fact.  It’s too easy to say this was all just such a surprise, a shock. 

   We should have seen this coming.  Especially us Democrats.  We sh

ould have seen this coming. 

   There were signs that this was coming.  Signs that were telling us.  Signs now saying, “I told you so.”

   Yes, racism played a role in Trump’s victory, with mostly white men – and white women! – voting for him. As graphically seen in Henry Louis Gates’ new PBS documentary series on African-American history, this is the same racism that lead to white flight and the rejection of racial quotas right after black power became a big thing. And the fact that it now turns out that most people get news – more to the point, news that they want, including fake news, like Hilary and Bill going to sex parties or the pope  endorsing Trump – from Facebook and Twitter was an issue. 

   But it was more than these and other related issues.  They are easy.

   Again, we Democrats should have been listening, should have seen what was going on. 

   As one friend said, Hilary should have been down in the hood.  She should have been taking $25, $5, whatever from folks, like Bernie did, instead of whining that she should be the first woman to be president as if it was her right and taking $10,000 checks from whoever was lucky enough to see her in Hollywood and on Wall Street.  This not only made Trump’s supporters and those open to him feel all the more forgotten and angry – on top of their resentment that others get help with their tax money, as I say in my previous post - and determined to vote for him, come Hell or high water.  Worse, it alienated the non-rich minorities and young people who were supposed to vote for Clinton and cut them off, leaving them with no reason to vote for her.  (I voted for Jill Stein, which didn’t matter here in dark blue California.) 

   No wonder the Donald is no longer a joke and will now be our president, the commander in chief, the leader of the free world.  Hell and high water may well coming, and we should have seen it coming.  Because, by not listening to those who listened to Trump, by not taking them seriously, we let it happen. 

 

It's not about Trump

   Next Tuesday is Election Day.  At this point, it’s turning out to be Y2K.2.

   Remember Y2K, when everyone was worried that the world would go out of whack or maybe even end when the year 2000 came? No one knew for certain if computers, which pretty much run the world as we know it, would switch over to switch over to 2000 or revert to 1900 or even 1000. There were dire warnings from agencies and institutions, and everyone was stressing out, writing up plans and stocking up on goods and supplies. 

  It turned out that all the warning and all the stressing was all for nothing. The calendar went from 1999 to 2000 without a hitch.  All our computers and all our devices switched over to 2000 with no problems to speak of. 

  I’d like to say that the bizarre, twisty, anything-can-happen presidential campaign, which has essentially been going on for nearly 2 years, will end up the same way with the final voting on Tuesday. The election will be over – finally! finally! – and our life will go on.

   But will it?     

   It is possible that the election won’t be over on Tuesday. Donald Trump hasn’t said if he’ll concede if Hilary Clinton wins, and he says he may contest the election if he doesn’t win.  It’s hard to say, however, if this isn’t just more of Trump’s blowhard self-promotion.  (There are those who argue that Trump doesn’t really want to be president – see his lack of preparation and research – that his campaign has just been a publicity stunt.)

   Or there are those who say the election will be too close to call, a la 2000 and the hanging chads in Florida.  This could get particularly hairy, with the 8-member Supreme Court evenly split. 

   The mainstream thought, though, seems to be that Clinton will win outright, although perhaps not by a landslide.  I’d like to think and I pray that this is what happens.  But even if this is what happens, it will be an uneasy victory. 

   This all may well not end on Tuesday, because, despite what he says and thinks, this election hasn’t been and isn’t about Trump. 

   This is obvious, because he has gotten this far no matter how vulgar, lewd and stupid he has been.  As he has said, he can stand in street and shoot people and still get votes. And why would a millionaire be so attractive to the blue-collar workers who are Trump’s core, die-hard supporte? 

   It really isn’t Trump that these supporters, primarily older white men, are voting for.  And they’re not just voting against Clinton.  No, they are crying out, angrily, in a world that is leaving them behind, that they don’t understand.  It’s a world that is no longer right and fair, where women can easily get abortions, where men can marry each other, where there are more and more restrictions on guns, where some people can not only get by but get ahead with tax payers’ help, where a black man, most likely benefiting from affirmative action and other such government help, can be president. 

   “I call it the pissed-off steel workers party.  A lot of people like someone who causes trouble,” a Trump supporter in Youngstown, Ohio, was recently quoted in the Los Angeles Times.  A lot of people are pissed off and want to stick it to the man.  Trump, who is just famous for being famous, is merely taking advantage of this anger and riding it. Trump is just these people’s vehicle, and, like rioters who burn down their own neighborhood, they don’t care if they ruin the country in expressing their anger. 

   Even if Trump loses fairly and squarely, with no doubts and lingering questions, there will be a lot of angry people.  Or people who are even angrier. 

   On the other hand, if Trump does win – God help us – there will be a lot of people who are not happy, to say the least.    

More speaking about Speechless

   JJ isn’t the only one with an alarmed look. 

   In my last post, I wrote about how much I appreciate Speechless, the new sitcom on ABC about a family that includes a boy with Cerebral Palsy who uses a power wheelchair and a speech device.  I said that I like the show and am glad that it’s on, despite some flaws, including that JJ is strangely mute.  As I said, I don’t know of people with C.P who can’t vocalize at all. 

   This flaw stuck out so much in last week’s episode that it was nearly fatal.  If JJ’s not speaking continues to be used this way, it will ruin the show. 

   I actually liked the episode.  I thought it was pretty good, pretty funny.  JJ and his attendant take off for a day, and it’s hysterical that they keep getting special treatment and free stuff (yes, this happens!). It’s funny to see the attendant taking advantage of and having fun with this and how this eventually pisses JJ off.  Meanwhile, the rest of the family goes off and does things – paintballing, ice skating – that JJ can’t do and, amusingly, end up guilt-ridden about this. All this was a rather smart send-up of how the non-disabled react to and feel about the disabled. 

   But there was one scene that almost derailed the whole thing.  In the scene, JJ and the attendant are getting into the van.  For whatever reason, the attendant puts JJ’s communication board into his backpack and then puts the backpack on the ground outside the van.  The attendant then proceeds to start the van, and all we see is JJ in the back looking alarmed and angry, knowing that his communication board is being left behind. 

   Why doesn’t he yell, if he can’t actually say anything?  Why doesn’t he scream?  Why doesn’t he cry? 

   No wonder he looks alarmed and pissed.  Not only has his mode of communication been taken from him; he is rendered completely mute, with the show’s title taken all too literally. 

   I did love the subsequent scene, with JJ expressing his rage, letting his attendant have it, quite literally.  But then, to make up, the attendant lets JJ drive the van.  Really?  Come on! 

   It can be said that this also sends the show off the rails, but it’s easier to see this as just the usual, over-the-top sitcom schtick.  And it’s pretty funny to see, in the episode’s closing, how the over-protective mother reacts when JJ tells her that he drove the van.        

Not quite speechless about Speechless

  I want to hear JJ talk.  Yes, he should always speak up for himself and not have others defend or argue for him, but, more than that, I want to hear JJ speak. 

   Why does JJ, who has Cerebral Palsy like I do, not talk at all, as if he’s mute? Why can’t he talk and be hard to understand, as with me?  This is the case with many people with C.P. Perhaps I’m naïve, but I’ve never met anyone with C.P who can’t talk at all, who is mute.  The only time JJ vocalizes is when he laughs, groans or exclaims.  

   And why doesn’t the communication device he uses, with a laser attached to his glasses, speak?  Most such devices nowadays speak.  Why is JJ stuck with needing someone to read what he points to? 

   Yes, I have these quibbles and gripes about Speechless, the new sitcom on ABC about the Dimeo family, whose three children include the teenaged JJ, who has Cerebral Palsy and uses a power wheelchair and a communication device attached to it.  But I have to say that these complaints are nothing.  Overall, I am amazed that such a program, let alone a comedy, with a vital, young, severely disabled character, is on broadcast television. One of my attendants said that, because of this, watching the show is “surreal.” He means he has never seen anything like it on T.V. A huge bonus is that the boy who plays JJ, Micah Fowler, has C.P, albeit reportedly not as severely.  Wow!  This is a gigantic step for television, especially for those who know how hard it is for disabled actors to get work. 

   There are many things I really like about the show.  I like it the whole family is sort of disabled, not picture-perfect, with their messy and frenetic lifestyle.  I like it that the mother, played by the driven Minnie Driver, is a handful and sometimes downright unlikable, in her efforts to get the best for JJ.  I like the tension with JJ’s siblings, with his brother resenting all the attention JJ gets and his sister wondering if she runs track because JJ can’t. 

   There is also the wonderfully snarky humor, like the oh-so P.C school principal pointing out that the school mascot has been changed to the banana slug, which has both male and female genetalia. 

   Yes, some things are awfully broad and over the top, like JJ suddenly announcing in the first episode that he is running for student council to the cheers of the whole school.  Such is par for the course in a sitcom, though. However, I really hope JJ’s attendant/reader (a funny character played by Cederic Yarboro, and perhaps the reason that the communication device doesn’t speak) defending and rescuing him, as he did in this week’s third episode when students get angry at him because of the inaccessible homecoming bonfire being moved indoors, isn’t a trend. 

   Perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised that JJ doesn’t drool or has many spasms and that he isn’t seen eating. JJ has been sanitized, even made pretty, with the messier aspects of C.P air-brushed away.  (Maybe this is why, or part of why, he doesn’t speak.) But then there’s a stunning scene, like in the second episode, when the attendant assists JJ, lifting him up, at the toilet.  This is breath-taking – a young, healthy man being assisted to go to the bathroom in a sitcom.  Even now, thinking of this extraordinarily intimate, tender and real scene on national television nearly brings tears to my eyes. 

   Hearing JJ, when he laughs or exclaims, is also quite moving to me.  This is why I want JJ to talk.  When I watch this show, I am seeing myself in a television show for the first time.  This is quite powerful.  I also want to hear myself. 

Going with the flow - not

   I’ve got my penis back.  Yay!
   Literally.  This isn’t a shocking opening line I’m using to get you to read this post!
   Late last month, while I was traveling, I stopped urinating, and I had to go to a hospital emergency room and have an internal catheter put into my penis.  I normally use a catheter, but it’s a condom catheter – and for good reason.
   I use a catheter – a condom catheter – because it’s convenient, because it lets me pee without waiting for one of my attendants to assist me, not because I don’t have feeling in the area (or anywhere else). I have complete sensation.
   Because of this, having an internal catheter inserted into my penis is incredibly painful.  It is a slow, deep burn going into my penis, like the wall of my urethra is being torn little by little. Sure, this is okay for a guy who has no feeling below the waist or neck (and therefore doesn’t feel when he is peeing and needs a catheter), but it’s no fun, to say the very least, when a guy can feel his dick.
   Once the thing – it’s called a foley – is in, the pain subsides eventually, but it’s not comfortable at all, and a tube coming out of your dick looks like a Dali painting.  You worry about the tube being pulled – will it come out? (No, there’s an inflated balloon inside your bladder. Dali again.) – and it hurts when you get a hard-on, with your penis squeezing the hard tube.  Like I said, no fun.
   There’s also the fact that pee can and will come out at any time, so the tube pretty much needs to be attached to a bag at all times.  And, as with pee coming out, things can go in at any time, so there’s a high risk of infection.
   Because of this – I got a bad urinary tract infection – and because of some traveling I was doing, I had the catheter in me for more than two weeks this time.  I’m still dealing with the infection, but at least the fucking catheter is out.
   Yes, this time.  This was the third time I couldn’t pee and had to be catheterized.  The first time was in 2000, and the second was about ten years later.  In all the cases, I was traveling, and not only did I not pee for 18 hours or so, I felt no urge to pee.  It was like I, my body, forgot about peeing.
   I can’t get an answer about why this – it’s called urinary retention – happens.  When I look online, it appears that it’s not uncommon for people with Cerebral Palsy to have urinary retention, but the few urologists I have seen say they don’t know.  They don’t appear very concerned and act like it’s not a big deal, like it’s another thing I live with, like not walking.
   But it’s a big deal for me – a huge, traumatic deal.  I don’t like worrying about when or if I pee, and I wish I knew why this happens and how I can make it not happen.  (I’m now taking Flomax, and I’ll see if that helps, but what about the C.P connection?) I don’t like not having my dick and all the fun things it can do.  Or, really, not liking my dick.            

He understands me

   I have written here before about my friend Carl.  In fact, he and I collaborated on a post in May, after he visited from up north and we took the Metrolink train to Los Angeles to attend a Bernie Sanders rally.  We have an unique friendship, one that has evolved and continues to evolve in remarkable, sometimes challenging, wonderful ways. 

   One of the most remarkable and also challenging and wonderful aspects of our friendship is that we both have impaired speech, caused by the Cerebral Palsy that we both live with. Carl’s speech is a bit less difficult to understand than mine, but it is nonetheless a difficulty that we both deal with constantly.  

   When I first met Carl, talking to each other was quite difficult.  Not only was it hard to understand what the other was saying, but it was hard to understand when the other repeated what the other said to make sure it was understood correctly.  It was a headache and, at least for me, a bit scary, and I kept asking my attendant to act as an interpreter.  Carl insisted that it was important that we keep talking to each other on our own, and, as is often the case, he was right.  In the earlier post, we wrote about discovering how to use our various devices to help in this process, and Carl even got this old dog to learn the new trick of conversing with him on the Skype-like Google Hangouts with the help of a texting feature.   

   I am very happy that Carl and I are now able to talk to each other with no or little assistance.  We sometimes use our devices, but it’s now really a matter of ease and how we feel.  Rarely is it a necessity.  In addition to being liberating, it’s a delight to me that it’s like Carl and I have our own language that no one understands.  We are like two deaf friends talking in a crowd of hearing people. 

   Recently, we were talking to a friend of Carl’s.  I said something, and the guy looked at me quizzically, having no idea what I said.  Carl repeated what I said, and the guy understood and said, “Really?  You got all that?” Carl and I just looked at each other and laughed.  It gets even funnier when someone doesn’t understand us and we understand each other.  Or when someone is absolutely clueless, thinking they understand us when they clearly don’t.

Another Nader?

     Don’t get me wrong.  I love Bernie Sanders.  I love the way he’s firing up young people – and also many others.  I love the way he talks about economic and environmental justice and inclusion for all, and I love the way he gets folks all excited.  Hopefully, this excitement leads to action, including voting. 

   No, don’t get me wrong.  I’m a Bernie Bro.  I feel the Bern.  Anyone who read my post last month about going to a Sanders rally – kind of – knows this. 

   But I’m concerned.  I’m concerned about the mixed messages Bernie is sending and the mixed messages some of his supporters are sending.  I’m concerned that he will end up being another Ralph Nader and give the election to Donald Trump. 

   Remember when Nader ran as a Green Party candidate in 2000 and got enough Democratic votes so that George W. Bush won by a hanging chad or a few hundred?  (I was one of those “Nader Democrats.” My mom was furious when she found out.)

   It is disturbing enough that some Sanders supporters have been rude, uncivil and even violent, threatening delegates who say they support Hilary Clinton, throwing chairs at Democratic party meetings.  It is disturbing that Sanders hasn’t totally condemned this behavior and sometimes blames and goes out of his way to agitate the Democratic party. 

   What’s even more disturbing, what really concerns me, is that this doesn’t help Clinton in what should have been her easy effort against Trump. But that’s not all.  There have been reports that some Sanders supporters say they’ll vote for the mean-spirited, ignorant and reckless Trump in November if Clinton is the Democratic nominee. This may be just another bizarre twist in this wild campaign, and hopefully these Bernie Bros will calm down and act and vote sensibly, but the prospect of Sanders supporters giving their support to Trump not only makes no sense at all; it is downright alarming, downright terrifying if it means that Trump is our next president. 

[NOTE: I will be not posting or posting regularly in the next two or three months because of traveling, etc.  I may post here and there in the meantime, but I’ll resume my regular posting in August or September.]