Happy triggers and gun crazies

   There was recently an article in the Los Angeles Times about guns being used by Los Angeles County sheriff’s deputies frequently going off by accident.  Among other incidents, a deputy shot himself in the leg while pulling his gun out to confront a suspect, another shot a bullet through a wall when he stumbled over a stroller and another

was paralyzed when his 3-year-old son was playing with his father’s gun and accidently shot him. 

   These accidental shootings have more doubled in 2 years.  In this time, the department has begun using a new gun, a Smith $ Wesson M&P, which doesn’t have a safety lock and requires less pressure to pull the trigger.  Officials argue that not only does this save time when a deputy needs to act immediately but also that having these guns that are easier to shoot will help the department get more women on the force.  There have been complaints that there aren’t enough female deputies, and it has been noted that many female recruits fail, because they have a hard time pulling the trigger.

   Look, if a woman has difficulty handling a gun, maybe she shouldn’t be a cop.  This may be an impolitic, sexist thing to say, but guns shouldn’t be super easy to shoot.  They shouldn’t be so easy to shoot that a 3-year-old can shoot one, even if it does help women. 

   The next day in the Times, there was an article in the Times about “smart” guns, like the German-made Armatix iP1 which can be fired only if its user is wearing a wireless wristband that broadcasts on a specific frequency.  Another such gun will only fire if it recognizes specific thumb prints.   These guns, which incorporate technology, can’t be used, for example, by someone who steals them or by a child who comes across them in the house – a good thing. 

   But guess what?  These guns aren’t available in the U.S. Why?  Because, although many American gun owners back such technological safety measures, hard-core gun enthusiasts have fought against them, including by boycotting American companies when they put out such guns.  What these folks, backed by the all-powerful N.R.A, argue is that these technological safety measures are another way for the government to control and ultimately take away their guns.

      This is crazy, yes, but is it any crazier than gun control laws being loosened instead of increased after the elementary school shooting in Newtown, Connecticut – and people then buying more guns in case gun control laws became popular again (or, as was argued, the government decided to “take our guns away”)? And I really wonder if anything will be done in terms of gun control after the Bible study shooting at the church in Charleston, S.C, this week.  We cry out for safety, but we really rather be able to shoot. 

Springing into new life (out of the cold)

   A few months ago, I wrote about going to New Jersey for a weekend in February and about how being in a place that was so different than sunny So. Cal., with snow having a significant impact on life and with the river down the street frozen, really shook me up and woke me up.  I saw how my life could be so different, not to mention considerably more difficult, and I also got a sense that I can make my life different. 

   It has turned out that this was a powerful motivator.  The trip really did kick my butt – in the best way.  This Spring, there has been several significant changes in my life or several changes I have made in my life.

   1.  After about twenty years, I am writing poetry again.  I used to write poetry all the time but stopped when I got into playwrighting and performing, as is I couldn’t do both. I have been wanting to start writing poetry again for a while – I have always felt comfortable doing so, and it takes much less time than playwrighting and doesn’t take other people and money for production – but, as I came to realize, the fact that I lost hundreds of poems when my computer crashed about 10 years ago was somehow holding me back.  Did I feel that writing something wasn’t worthwhile if I could lose it?  Writing poetry again has been thrilling and liberating.  A few of my poems can be seen on the Cripple Creek magazine page on the Pixleyproject website, and, yes, I now know it’s important to back up my files!  

  
  2.  I had my nipple rings removed.  When I had them put in – super ouch! – 14 years ago, not long after I came out, I thought they were hot, and it was a celebration of my newfound sexuality.  It turned out I just thought they are hot on other guys.  Not that they weren’t hot on me, but they were a pain, literally, when they caught or rubbed on things and when guys thought they were hot on me and played with them – very annoying! I had been wanting to have them taken out, but I was afraid it would hurt like when they were put in.  When I went to a tattoo parlor in April to have them removed, it really didn’t hurt.  I wish I had done this years ago, but it’s done now.  I am much more comfortable, and I have the rings on a tight necklace that is always on me.  After all, they were a part of me – they were in me – for 14 years, and they still are a celebration of (at least) my sexuality.  Plus, it looks hot!  

  3.  I went through my closets and got rid of bags of clothes.  Again, this is something I should of done years ago.  I was able to get some cash for some of the clothes, and I plan to take most if not all of the rest to an Out of the Closet thrift store supporting AIDS research.  Among the clothes were lots of overalls – some were quite cool and unique, but they didn’t fit or I have others like them or whatever.  It was cool to say that I have 100 pairs of overalls – I have seen other guys say this online – but, really, do I need 100 pairs of overalls or whatever?  Don’t worry, I still have plenty – probably too many!  

  4.  After years of having a shaved head or a mohawk, I’ve been growing my hair.  This actually started last Fall, but it has really come out, so to speak, in the last month or so.  What’s more, whereas it was always straight like my mom’s, my hair is now really curly, more than my dad’s or my brother’s, almost like my sister’s, with lots of body, almost a loose fro.  I am very excited about this and am thinking I may wait to see what happens and explore my options rather than braiding and dreading it as I did years ago and thought I might.  

  5.  Last but definitely not least, I have had the opportunity to get more sexual experience, not unlike in The Sessions, the film about a severely disabled man working with a sex therapist. Without going into detail, I’ll say this has been both wonderfully eye-opening and challenging, as well as fun and hot.  I have learned that I can do things that I really thought I couldn’t and also that, as in other areas of my life, it is often best if I don’t try too hard.  This latter is a difficult lesson for me, as someone with takes pride in doing my best, not being lazy and relying on others as little as possible, but, for example and to put it very bluntly and crudely, it is probably best for my partner and me if I let my partner get off by getting me off rather than if I actively try to get him off.  This experience actually started before my trip in February, but it has fit in with my different or new life this Spring, and I hope it leads to new adventures and wonders. 

Commencing to different beats

   This past weekend was Commencement Weekend at the Claremont Colleges. There were seven graduations, and I went to three of them to hear the speakers.  This is easier to do now that they are spread out over Saturday and Sunday instead of all on Sunday afternoon, as they were until about five years ago.  Also, I leave right after the speaker is done, before the reading of all those names, as rude as this may be.  Here are a few brief observations from this year’s venture. 

  Pitzer College, where the graduates wear white robes with bright orange sashes, was, as always, pretty out there – or even more out there.  In a new twist, the graduates entered accompanied by a raucous marching band that featured men on very high stilts and at least one sporting a mohawk. Quite a Saturday morning wake-up!  In the tradition of student-chosen speakers who are provocative if not flat-out controversial, a la Angela Davis a few years ago, the speaker was Janet Mock, the outspoken trans-woman author, television host and activist.  Her speech was a bit canned, but commencement addresses are so tricky with all those folks just itching to get out, and she did encourage the grads to be their true, perhaps challenging selves. 

   The Saturday afternoon commencement at Claremont McKenna College couldn’t have been more different, starting off with a prayer and the singing of the alma mater.  There was also, as always, a Latin salutation, given by a co-ed pair of students, although it was presented with much humor and sense of fun.  The speaker, who received an honorary degree, was Azar Nafisi, the Iranian author of Reading Lolita in Tehran: A Memoir in Books. She had lots of interesting insights – perhaps too many.  There was the sense that the officials were not happy with how long she went on and that the proverbial hook was waiting in the wings.  Did she perhaps drink a bit too much at lunch?  (I was reminded of when Paul Conrad, the late, very liberal Los Angeles Times editorial cartoonist, spoke at this conservative, formerly men’s college’s commencement years ago, and there was considerable grumbling.  Then again, Ken Kesey was the speaker a few years later.)

   Then there was Pomona College graduation on Sunday morning.  Pomona is the oldest college in Claremont and arguably the most prestigious, and it’s not shy about it (there are t-shirts that say “Harvard: the other Pomona”). There were four speakers, in addition to the student speakers, and all got honorary degrees, including the “keynote speaker,” France Cordova, the head of the National Science Foundation. Plus he excellent Glee Club performed two songs. This all took more than an hour and a half, before the parade of several hundred graduates, one at a time, across the stage. 

   But it still made for quite a uniquely pleasant Sunday morning, especially with the clouds burning off, as was the case this year.  Unlike the other ceremonies, held under giant tents, Pomona’s is held under great, old sycamore trees in a picaresque quadrangle, and there were people sitting and laying on the lawn. And, in a super-nice touch, free coffee was available.  Like I said, quite a pleasant Sunday morning. 

A life, and lives, directed

   Again, Claremont is a remarkable place to live. Here is my recent Claremont Courier column. 

           STAGES OF LIFE AT AND OUT OF THE COLLEGES

   Usually, when I buy a ticket, I feel happy.  I feel excited.  I feel lucky and privileged that I get to see the performance.  I might feel relieved that I managed to snag the ticket. I don’t usually feel sad, like I want to weep. 

   But it was different a few weeks ago when I went to Pomona College to buy a ticket for the year-end dance concert there.  It was different, because when I was at the box office window, I saw Betty Bernhard. 

  That is, I saw her name.  It was on one of the production posters that line the back of the box office.  “Directed by Betty Bernhard.” Actually, it was on a number of the posters, but seeing one was enough to make me feel like weeping. 

   I guess it really hit me then: There will be no more new production posters, at Pomona College or anywhere else, with her name on it. 

   It was hard enough when I went to see a production at Seaver Theater last month and saw a notice in the program honoring her. Not only was such a notice unusual, it said that she “is survived by” a daughter and two grandchildren and a sister.  It didn’t make sense that Betty Bernhard had died.  I had just seen a wonderful production of Sarah Ruhl’s sophisticated, Victorian-era sex comedy,  In the Next Room (or the vibrator play), directed by her a month earlier.  A friend who I saw there had mentioned the possibility of working on a project with her. 

   Then, a week later, there was an obituary in the Courier. It was there that I read that she succumbed to brain cancer, a month after being diagnosed with it.  Was she still working on the play when she was sick, perhaps knowing she was dying?  I wondered.  

   I later learned that she had to stop working not long after rehearsals began but not before she had chosen the cast and set the scene, so to speak.  This is but more evidence of “her strength and sense of purpose, her good will and generosity of spirit and her passionate love for the art form” that the program notice mentioned.  It certainly was evident in all her work directing plays at Pomona College, where she joined the theater department in 1984. She was clearly passionate about theater and helping Claremont colleges students develop their skills, as she directed over 30 full-length plays and musicals, including a stunning, remarkably crisp Hamlet  and some of which reflected her deep interest in Indian Sanskrit theater.

   It was not only at Pomona College and in the theater where Betty Bernhard worked during these years. A year and a half ago, I wrote about seeing a documentary film that she made, Out! Loud!, about people in the gay, lesbian bisexual and transgender community in India performing a play.  She also made other documentary films in India about sex workers doing theater work and women theater artists.  As a Fullbright Scholar in India in 1993 and 2004, she directed three full-length plays there, and, last month, she was named a Founding Mother of Asian Theater Scholarship by the Association of Asian Performance. Championing theater by, for and about women, minorities and other under-represented group was key in this life’s work. 

   The sudden loss of this work and the riches it brought is indeed sad.  But, as those posters with her name on them also show, Betty Bernhard’s work and that still being done by her colleagues is at least as inspiring, leaving us with hope and things to look forward to. 

   That much was clear at a panel discussion held in Betty Bernhard’s memory at Seaver Theater on a recent Friday afternoon.  The presentation was put on by Claremont in Entertainment and Media, a group of graduates from the Claremont colleges who are working in the entertainment field. 

   Who knew there was this alumni group made up of actors, producers, writers, studio executives, agents, casting directors and other professionals?  I didn’t, and I was pretty excited to find out about it. 

   The panel alone was exciting enough. I didn’t find out about it until that afternoon, and what drew me – clearly, the big draw – was Richard Chamberlain, “the king of the miniseries” who I learned long ago was a graduate of Pomona College.  Others on the panel included Matt Baer, a Pitzer College graduate who produced last year’s Unbroken and the recently released Maggie, and Elizabeth Levitt Hirsch, a Scripps College graduate who is now board president of the Levitt Pavilions.  (This organization puts on free summer concerts, including in Pasadena and Los Angeles, as well as three a year at Scripps College.)

   Perhaps the most intriguing member on the panel was Gregory Rae, a computer science major at Harvey Mudd College who ended up being a four-time Tony Award winning producer whose credits include The Normal Heart , Hedwig and the Angry Inch , Clydbourne Park and Kinky Boots) as well a gay activist. As I said, who knew? 

   It was fun hearing how these people were influenced by their days in Claremont.  For example, Mr.  Chamberlain said he always loved movies but was shy and awkward until encouraged to get on the stage at Pomona and then, before he knew it, was not only working as an actor but was famous, starring in Dr. Kildare  not long after graduating.  Mr.  Rae shared that being a R.A in the dorm was not unlike putting together a Broadway show.   

   Even more remarkable is that, as I said, I didn’t know about this panel discussion until earlier that afternoon when I attended another presentation at Seaver Theater.  This one featured Mary Schmich, a Pomona College graduate who wrote the Brenda Starr comic strip for 25 years and is a Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist for the Chicago Tribune, famous for her “Wear Sunscreen” column.  (As she mentioned in answering questions, she doesn’t know and isn’t too concerned about how the column ended up being attributed to Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., and she wrote it in an afternoon before deadline when she couldn’t think of what to write about.) I wished I had known that, earlier that day in Seaver Theater, James Turrell, the world-renown artist who does fascinating work with light and is a Pomona College graduate, was in conversation with Ed Krupp, a fellow alum who is the charismatic director of the Griffith Observatory. 

   This is all quite a bounty, quite a legacy, among many such as the colleges close out another year and also say goodbye to a gifted teacher, artist and mentor. 

Bureaucracy, as usual

  I got a letter the other day.  There was nothing unusual about that, of course, and it was not unusual that it was from the housing authority, saying that there would be an inspection at my house.  I have been getting a Section 8 rental subsidy for years, and one of the requirements is that there be an annual inspection.

   The letter was actually about a follow-up inspection.  After the initial inspection, some work had to be done, and this was an inspection to see if the work had been done. This was a bit unusual, but it has happened a fair amount in past years. 

   What was unusual – though I suspect not that unusual – is that the inspection had taken place two days before. Things began getting unusual three days earlier, when the inspection was supposed to happen, and I got a call from a woman at the housing authority saying that there wouldn’t be an inspection that day and asking if it could be rescheduled for the next day. This has never happened before, but it was okay, because it happened I had no plans for going out.

   Things really got unusual, if not downright crazy, when I got that letter.  It came on May 14, and it was dated May 11 and said an inspection would take place on May 12.

   What were they thinking?  Clearly, they weren’t thinking – they were probably just following procedure, most probably – and, again, I suspect it’s not that unusual. This is bureaucracy.  This is what is meant by the right hand not knowing what the left hand is doing.  Sure, it takes only pennies to prepare and mail such a letter, but who knows how many such letters are prepared and mailed (I have gotten them before), and lots of pennies do add up.  As you can gather from my recent posts, all these pennies can be spent in better ways.