One step forward, three steps back

   Last week, I wrote that the coronavirus pandemic was creeping me out, if not freaking me out.  Well, now it’s straight-out freaking me out. 

   A few days after writing that Scripps College canceled all its public events, I learned that all the colleges here in Claremont closed.  Until the Fall.  Poof.  No more concerts plays, lectures.  No more of much of what makes Claremont such a wonderful, rich place to live. 

   What’s more, even my Quaker meeting shut its door.  And the day after I went to a movie even though I couldn’t go to meeting, which I thought was weird, the cinema closed. 

   This has been really hard on me.  Over the last year or so, I’ve been trying to get out and be in community more and more.  I’ve been fighting isolation.  And now I can’t go out.  Now I’m being isolated.  Many friends are even afraid to come over, mostly not wanting to get me sick, making me feel even more isolated. 

   It gets worse.  I went shopping this morning, and while I could get most of what I wanted, I couldn’t get such basics as rice, milk, pasta and bread.  Now I’m wondering what I’m supposed to do.  Will I get the medications and supplies that I need?  Will I get the help I need? 

   I’ve been having more pain than usual in the last few days.  I realized it’s probably from stressing out. 

   I’m less worried about the virus than the crazy way people are acting – panicking, hoarding, buying guns.  And I’m furious at the Trump administration for not making coronavirus tests available much earlier, unlike in other countries, which is why things are now so dire. 

   This all keeps feeling like a nightmare or horror movie – unreal.  It helps a bit to know that I’m not the only one stuck at home, isolated.  It’s not like when life was going on and I was in bed, looking out the window.  That’s the only thing keeping me sane.